English Weather

January’s grey and slushy,
February’s chill and drear,
March is wild and wet and windy,
April seldom brings much cheer.
In May, a day or two of sunshine,
Three or four in June, perhaps.
July is usually filthy,
August skies are open taps.
In September things start dying,
Then comes cold October mist.
November we make plans to spend
The best part of December pissed.

– Wendy Cope

The Uncertainty of the Poet

I am a poet
I am very fond of bananas.

I am bananas
I am very fond of a poet.

I am a poet of bananas
I am very fond.

A fond poet of ‘I am, I am’-
Very bananas.

Fond of ‘Am I bananas,
Am I?’- a very poet.

Bananas of a poet!
Am I fond?’ Am I very?

Poet bananas! I am.
I am very fond a ‘very’.

I am of very fond bananas.
Am I a poet?

– Wendy Cope

Making Cocoa for Kingsley Amis

It was a dream I had last week
And some kind of record seemed vital.
I knew it wouldn’t be much of a poem
But I love the title.

– Wendy Cope